I felt I should post something here, but I don't know what...
I turned 25 last month, got a new computer, that I put together for school so I can write it off when taxes roll around.
Oh yeah, school! lol Five year's later I finally get off my lazy ass and start up school again. I will be doing what I love, building computers and setting up networks.
Yes, I am a geek, get over it. lol
I still have no life >_> but I have grown to accept it. The insanity I once felt seems to have subsided, for now, which leads to great things. (Like school lol)
It's weird, I look to my right and see that one of my last 4 posts was for my 22nd Birthday. Do I really stop by here so off and on? Huh three years, and oddly enough, NOTHING has changed other then school.

It just dawned on me, you know when you watch a movie about a nerd that lives with his parents at 35... that's me. Where did I go so wrong, or is what I am doing right because I don't regret it? I don't hate what I am. Sometimes I hate what I do uncontrollably but other then that I don't care. I care what people think, but I try not to let it bother me in public but, at home I brood and over think about what they really said, when what they said, was what they really said.
Nothing more.
I tried so hard to do what everyone else around me was doing that I never found myself, and still too this day, I don't know who I am. I think in high school I tried so hard to be what everyone I hung out with wanted me to be, and I ended up ruining what could of been a lot of long term, meaningful relationships. That, and that alone, has turned me into a silent killer. I so rarely talk now. I am the shadow that says nothing, but follows you everwhere. I know the people that I hung out with may read this, and I don't hate or lament the time spent, just wish I wasn't the geek. >_>
Someone tell me how to turn my brain off, so I can just float and enjoy the flow, rather then fight the current.
I don't want to do drugs but if that's the only way I can turn the thinker off, then bring 'em on.
I really don't know where I was going with this. Did I just have a phsyc converstation with myself? ...Weird.